Looking over the few blogs that I have down I have to say that I've managed to accomplish nothing in my last blog....let's just say that weight seems to remain as an issue... an issue that I do feel that I need to address but, unfortunatley, I tend to treat food as a way to solve any emotional or stressful problems and I have to admit the last few months have been excruciating when it comes to living in a constant daze. The last time I wrote on this blog was on in April of this year and I'm barely managing to update it now well over a half year later.
I suppose there are too many things that I have been wanting to discuss in order to release all the tension that I'm feeling at school, home, and in my head. One of them was a bit of a summer fling...although I do hate to call it that but that's really what it was. I met over the internet (which is rather normal nowadays I suppose) and we automatically clicked in our the things we enjoyed, our hobbies, family values, etc. we also had those things that made us uniquely different. He was six years older than I was and had a son. Now I know most people would call me an idiot for dating someone with baggage but it really didn't phase me. For me it was actually a winning feature that I liked about him because he was a dedicated father who I could automatically tell that he loved his son. Sadly, things came to their end when he found that he wanted to be with someone else rather than try and work our relationship out. Now I can see that if he truly wanted to make things work we would have still remained together but he was busy thinking with his head down under versus his heart. All I have left to say is that I wish him the best of luck in life and that he finds his happiness (and I'm sure he has since he'll be having a baby sometime next year with his new partner).
Another stressful aspect of this year has been taking on the responsibilty of being Pledge Educator for my fraternity. I have to admit I did not expect this position to be as tough or time consuming as it was, had I known I would have prepared myself much better this semester. So many of the problems that I faced had beening weighing me down and exhausting me to the point of being lethargic but sometime mid-october I put the battery in again and just forced myself to react and take responsibilty of my actions. I'm not proud of my behavior and my lack of self-discipline but I'm willing to admit when I'm at fault and take responsibilty of my actions. I'm still rather frustrated that people can't grow and move passed the traditions that we're not suppose to be practicing. Nowadays there are way too many things that can be considered haczing when you talk with any fraternity. I'm afraid that there are some that don't understand this concept of what should and shouldn't be done. Something fairly important that I learned to do this semester is to just LET IT GO! To many problems had been arising from people with their hearsay and "she said this or he said that" and I was taking too seriously when the energy and time I spent exerting on these supposed problems was wasted. Now things are much better within our fraternity, perhaps, they aren't the best but we realize that we have to make things better for future generations not just ourselves.
I suppose the on thing that has truly devasted me has been the news that I won't be able to graduate in May of 2011. Since my blog about discussing my BA in International Business I had added a double major of Accounting to my already existing BA in IB. I knew it would be push me back to December of 2011 but what I ended up finding on Thursday was that I actually won't be able to graduate until May 2012. Which means that it'll take 5 years to finish my degree instead of 4 or 4 1/2. I don't know why it bothers me as much as it does but it's something I'm going to have a hard time grasping the next few weeks. Apparently I won't be able to take a few of my classes concurrently because they are prerequisites for one class or another so what I have decided to do is take a few more accouting classes in order to be CPA elegible once I graduate in 2012.
I suppose for right now that's all I have to say but perhaps sometime soon I'll sit here and write about the event of what's happened in my life.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
The first day of the rest of my life...hopefully...
Well after months of just sitting on my ass and daydreaming about stupid notions I've decided to pick up working out again. Perhaps this sounds pretty dumb (at least it does to me) but I use to work out quite a bit when I was in high school....I wasn't skinny by any means I think the smallest size I've ever been is an 11 but quite frankly I really liked myself at that size. After high school graduation I went into this junk food craze and gained more than those dreaded Freshmen 15.....I ballooned! :[
After that I pretty much quit working out and just accepted the fact that I was obese...yes I'm morbidly obese in medical terms. I've been told that I don't look as large as I really am but that's because I gain weight pretty evenly across my body and I suppose my height helps in that aspect too (I'm 5'7"). I don't have anyone else to blame about the state that my body is in but myself and I want to set an example for my little sister who's 7 years old. I've heard that you can't truly love someone if you don't love yourself and I have to agree. I understand that there are some people who can't lose the weight or gain because of a medical condition but I'm like this because I made the wrong decisions.
I live in a city where we rank as one of the top heaviest city in America. There is no pride in having a title like that I want to promote a healthy living for my sister and inspire her to be a better person for herself and others. What better way to start than by doing that for myself as well. Right now I'm at a size 16 borderline 17 in clothes I gained that much weight in a little as 2 years I can easily lose that weight if I just strap down and take care of myself.
Today I started to work out! I hadn't done it such a long time and I realized pretty quickly how out of shape I was! I was pretty horrified....of course I had noticed before the work out..especially when I walked at school. I was so use to walking before that it never tired me out but all of sudden I was having a hard time walk up a hill or some stairs and decided no more. I have 2 work out videos that I'm going to be using in the next several days, Slim in 6 and Insanity.
For those of you that have heard of Insanity probably think I'm pretty insane for trying especially since I hadn't been working out in such a long time...I found out pretty quickly how tiring it was. I decided to then use the Slim in 6 video first before trying Insanity. I want to build up some cardio and just get my body accustomed to working out before I seriously try the Insanity video.
My goal with blogging about this is to 1) Motivate myself, 2) share my experience and frustrations, and 3) to keep track of my progress. Today was pretty small just a 25 minute work out that had my blood pumping and my heart pounding but right now I feel so good!! I don't feel so down, lazy, and listless like how I had been feeling the last few months. I know I'll be a little sore tomorrow but I'm looking forward to working out in the morning. I'm also going to try and keep track of what I eat...not really a journal about what goes into my mouth everyday but keepin in mind that I have to eat healthy (and drinks butt loads of water).
After that I pretty much quit working out and just accepted the fact that I was obese...yes I'm morbidly obese in medical terms. I've been told that I don't look as large as I really am but that's because I gain weight pretty evenly across my body and I suppose my height helps in that aspect too (I'm 5'7"). I don't have anyone else to blame about the state that my body is in but myself and I want to set an example for my little sister who's 7 years old. I've heard that you can't truly love someone if you don't love yourself and I have to agree. I understand that there are some people who can't lose the weight or gain because of a medical condition but I'm like this because I made the wrong decisions.
I live in a city where we rank as one of the top heaviest city in America. There is no pride in having a title like that I want to promote a healthy living for my sister and inspire her to be a better person for herself and others. What better way to start than by doing that for myself as well. Right now I'm at a size 16 borderline 17 in clothes I gained that much weight in a little as 2 years I can easily lose that weight if I just strap down and take care of myself.
Today I started to work out! I hadn't done it such a long time and I realized pretty quickly how out of shape I was! I was pretty horrified....of course I had noticed before the work out..especially when I walked at school. I was so use to walking before that it never tired me out but all of sudden I was having a hard time walk up a hill or some stairs and decided no more. I have 2 work out videos that I'm going to be using in the next several days, Slim in 6 and Insanity.
For those of you that have heard of Insanity probably think I'm pretty insane for trying especially since I hadn't been working out in such a long time...I found out pretty quickly how tiring it was. I decided to then use the Slim in 6 video first before trying Insanity. I want to build up some cardio and just get my body accustomed to working out before I seriously try the Insanity video.
My goal with blogging about this is to 1) Motivate myself, 2) share my experience and frustrations, and 3) to keep track of my progress. Today was pretty small just a 25 minute work out that had my blood pumping and my heart pounding but right now I feel so good!! I don't feel so down, lazy, and listless like how I had been feeling the last few months. I know I'll be a little sore tomorrow but I'm looking forward to working out in the morning. I'm also going to try and keep track of what I eat...not really a journal about what goes into my mouth everyday but keepin in mind that I have to eat healthy (and drinks butt loads of water).
Friday, April 16, 2010
After the BA.....
So something that's been stressing me out lately (aside from the over protective and infuriating person called my mother) has been what I'm going to be doing after I graduate from college. By May of 2011 I should have received my BA in General Business with a concentration in International Business....sounds fancy huh....I have no idea what to do with it. I suppose this is where the dilemma comes in.
There are a few things that I can do:
Option 1) Start working.
This is probably the first option that most people want to accomplish after they get their BA and part of me wants to run with that crowd. I suppose there are more personal reasons for this (like escaping the clutches of my mother) but I also have to think about the experience I'd be gaining if I start working. The problem with this option is that I'm not exactly sure what I want to be working in once I graduate. I'm more than aware that I won't find the perfect job when I finish school but I, at least, want to work somewhere that I at least can handle and won't hate.
Option 2) Get my masters.
This is probably the answer that I've contemplated the most...from the realistic stand point. Economically a masters will help find a job that will pay more and offer me experience in a specific area. Again what that area will be I'm not sure yet. I've thought of Foreign Policy or International Business but I'm not sure what kind of jobs are in these particular fields. I suppose this comes from wanting to work for the CIA and the FBI. I'm rather fond of Law and thought that these areas would benefit me the most.
Option 3) Go to recording school.
Probably the more sponateous and risky option that I have right now...and I am seriously considering it. Why? I think in my last post I stressed that I liked music...wait did I say like...I ment to say LOVE music. Yes I'm not the next Lauryn Hill or whatever but it's something that I know I can do the rest of my life and absolutely love it. I already have my BA as a back up plan and I can always go for my masters later but I'm not sure what the freak to do.
So perhaps you've noticed that I don't necessarily have a problem with having a purpose in life it's more like having to choose between all the things I would like to do with my life. So right now...I probably won't think much about it until my Fall semester when I have to worry about taking the GMAT and choosing a school if it comes down to going to a Masters program or setting up appointments at recording schools maybe even finding a job. Who knows what'll happen I just hope I get a sign somewhere that help me make this decision.
There are a few things that I can do:
Option 1) Start working.
This is probably the first option that most people want to accomplish after they get their BA and part of me wants to run with that crowd. I suppose there are more personal reasons for this (like escaping the clutches of my mother) but I also have to think about the experience I'd be gaining if I start working. The problem with this option is that I'm not exactly sure what I want to be working in once I graduate. I'm more than aware that I won't find the perfect job when I finish school but I, at least, want to work somewhere that I at least can handle and won't hate.
Option 2) Get my masters.
This is probably the answer that I've contemplated the most...from the realistic stand point. Economically a masters will help find a job that will pay more and offer me experience in a specific area. Again what that area will be I'm not sure yet. I've thought of Foreign Policy or International Business but I'm not sure what kind of jobs are in these particular fields. I suppose this comes from wanting to work for the CIA and the FBI. I'm rather fond of Law and thought that these areas would benefit me the most.
Option 3) Go to recording school.
Probably the more sponateous and risky option that I have right now...and I am seriously considering it. Why? I think in my last post I stressed that I liked music...wait did I say like...I ment to say LOVE music. Yes I'm not the next Lauryn Hill or whatever but it's something that I know I can do the rest of my life and absolutely love it. I already have my BA as a back up plan and I can always go for my masters later but I'm not sure what the freak to do.
So perhaps you've noticed that I don't necessarily have a problem with having a purpose in life it's more like having to choose between all the things I would like to do with my life. So right now...I probably won't think much about it until my Fall semester when I have to worry about taking the GMAT and choosing a school if it comes down to going to a Masters program or setting up appointments at recording schools maybe even finding a job. Who knows what'll happen I just hope I get a sign somewhere that help me make this decision.
Music....
Recently my little sister's violin teacher asked me to play the piano for a few of the recitals. I'm pretty excited about this but also nervous since I haven't played in so many years. The songs are not difficult but after being out of practice for so long it may take me awhile to feel pretty comfortable playing a few of the songs.
It's pretty ironic that he asked me to play for him as a favor. I had been considering picking up the piano again...my fingers have been having this itch to do something...I've even gone as far as trying to relearn the violin using my sisters violin which is too small for me. I love music...especially classical music. I think one of my few regrets in life has been to not continue my musical education. That's one of the reasons why I encourage my little sister to play. Of course I don't force her to do something that she doesn't want to do but I do try to encourage her by taking her to a few shows and playing with her so that she finds it fun and gratifying.
Recently I've just been inclined to want to play a few of the instruments that I have learned. By no means am I good at any of them but I love how from instruments you can get the most sincere of emotions thru. The only problem that I face now is finding a piano to practice on. I already have one but the sound quality on it is horrible and quite frankly I find it hard to play anything on the old piano because so many of keys get stuck or are in need of some serious tuning. I know part of that is my fault because I haven't played in ages but even when I did I found the piano hard to play and stand. I feel horrible for the piano (poor thing :( ) but I really want a keyboard but the likely hood of me getting one is slim to none. More than likely I'll end up practicing at school in the piano practice rooms.
It's pretty ironic that he asked me to play for him as a favor. I had been considering picking up the piano again...my fingers have been having this itch to do something...I've even gone as far as trying to relearn the violin using my sisters violin which is too small for me. I love music...especially classical music. I think one of my few regrets in life has been to not continue my musical education. That's one of the reasons why I encourage my little sister to play. Of course I don't force her to do something that she doesn't want to do but I do try to encourage her by taking her to a few shows and playing with her so that she finds it fun and gratifying.
Recently I've just been inclined to want to play a few of the instruments that I have learned. By no means am I good at any of them but I love how from instruments you can get the most sincere of emotions thru. The only problem that I face now is finding a piano to practice on. I already have one but the sound quality on it is horrible and quite frankly I find it hard to play anything on the old piano because so many of keys get stuck or are in need of some serious tuning. I know part of that is my fault because I haven't played in ages but even when I did I found the piano hard to play and stand. I feel horrible for the piano (poor thing :( ) but I really want a keyboard but the likely hood of me getting one is slim to none. More than likely I'll end up practicing at school in the piano practice rooms.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Flagstaff
Pretty excited about going to Flagstaff, Arizona this weekend with my brothers from the fraternity. First time going out of town with people other than my family. I'm not really looking forward to all the drunk partying but I suppose I can just watch people do some hilarious things. What I'm trying to determine is what kind of music to take on the 8 hour drive over there.
Right now I'm just downloading some hip hop music that I use to listen too when I was younger. Yes I love songs that make nostalgic because they usually make me happy ^_^. Most of the people in my frat don't really like the music that I like so I know that's completely out of the question.
The only things I have to worry about at the present moment are a test on Thursday and a Spanish placement test on Friday. Hopefully I'm fluent enough that I don't have to take the first two classes (there is a difference between speaking the language and knowing the language formally).
Right now I'm just downloading some hip hop music that I use to listen too when I was younger. Yes I love songs that make nostalgic because they usually make me happy ^_^. Most of the people in my frat don't really like the music that I like so I know that's completely out of the question.
The only things I have to worry about at the present moment are a test on Thursday and a Spanish placement test on Friday. Hopefully I'm fluent enough that I don't have to take the first two classes (there is a difference between speaking the language and knowing the language formally).
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
.....repeating myself once again.
I'm constantly talking about how I want to keep up with a blog or journal but for some stupid reason I can never adher to that. I'm going to give this a shot once again making this a bit of a project for myself.
I'm not sure what I'm going to be writing about...some days might be about my life, a rant, talk about the latest thing I'm into....my disappointments, dreams, the things that matter most to me. I'm pretty sure some of the things I talk about will be random as well.
Sometimes I sit, walk around, or lay in my bed thinking all these odd ideas and every once in awhile I'll amaze myself with the stupidity that comes from my mind. I'm hoping that I learn how to put some of these ideas here so that I can come back and laugh at my randomness (I've done it before...lol) later.
I'm not sure what I'm going to be writing about...some days might be about my life, a rant, talk about the latest thing I'm into....my disappointments, dreams, the things that matter most to me. I'm pretty sure some of the things I talk about will be random as well.
Sometimes I sit, walk around, or lay in my bed thinking all these odd ideas and every once in awhile I'll amaze myself with the stupidity that comes from my mind. I'm hoping that I learn how to put some of these ideas here so that I can come back and laugh at my randomness (I've done it before...lol) later.
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