Over the last few years I've been having a hard time with doing the things that I love without having the need to hide it and doing the things that are suppose to help me in the future. That's the reason why I chose to major in business and join a professional fraternity but quitte frankly it really hasn't done anything for me. Granted I don't think I chose wrong in deciding to be an Accounting and International Business major but everything else has been a mistake.... or so I think. The thing that really has weighed on my mind more than anything has been the professsional fraternity I joined a year ago.
I don't like discouraging people from joining organizations but I found it more than disappointing over the last year. Quite frankly most of the business organizations are either disorganized or a clique. I have to admit that I really don't like the dynamics of the fraternity anymore... of course I use to like it at the beginning but when you see people act a certain way you kind stop and think if that's really what you want to surround yourself with. I have a little over a year to finish my two bachelors and I can finally leave this god forsaken town and start anew someplace else.
I guess my disappointment stems from my personal failure to be independent and the actions of people in the fraternity itself. I hate that I haven't been to able to experience the college experience because I chose to stay in my hometown for school and, in turn, continue living with my parents. Having grown up in a rather tradition hispanic home there really isn't a sense of independece because the whole family is dependent on each other. That's not my style at all... it's been stifling the last few years to say the LEAST. When you havee to answer to someone about where you're going, why you're coming home late at night, why you're staying late at school, why you're going out with your friends, why do you have to dedicate so much time to a school organizations..... it starts to fray your nerves. For me, that was the straw that broke the camels back.... I should have to answer all these questions just to walk out of my house.
When talking about the fraternity my main gripe was the amount of PARTYING they were doing.... so little of the actual professionalism we were suppose to be doing. I have a severe dislike for alcoholics..... now there's a difference between enjoying a few drinks and getting drunk once in awhile when you do have a few too many but when you're an alcoholic....when you drink almost everyday and drunk with the purpose of being sloshed then... I have issues. That's what was happening in the fraternity in the last year. Once I finished my pledging process, I had dedicated so much of myself so I could bring in something for the fraternity only to find that people were interested in going to the bars at 3 in the afternoon rather than attend a professional event. I suppose that's the downfall of people who attend a commuter school. This last semester that passed was my limit.. I took on the position for Pledge Educator...FUCK was the the worst decision ever! Not only were people more concerned about conserving traditions that are considered hazing then improving the quality of our organization and then people what to feed you this fuckin bull shit about wanting to improve?!?! Cry me a fucking river. I forced myself to finish my term (I came so close to quitting but I didn't want to drop my responsibilites) I just went about it with an aloof attitude. But because people can't keep themselves in check our chapter got put into probation by the univeristy because of an underage druinking after I told people over and over againthat they couldn't drink of they were underage. Oh well, it's in the past now.
Now I'm here this semester not giving a fuck about what happens with them. I know that people are going to give me shit and probably try to remove me from the fraternity...can't say that I'd be too disappointed. Of course they would kick someone else who had been putting an effort for a whole fucking year but they would definitely keep a handful of people that didn't do SHIT after they came into the frat with me. I just see it this way... I'm done with the bull shit. I rather join things that are going a to make a difference to me and help me develop as a person.
No comments:
Post a Comment